Bathroom Humor

Several years ago, I was interning for the Westwood Church of Christ in Edmond, OK and we were on a trip to Colorado to go white water rafting. The boys were in one minivan; me, the youth minister, his wife, and the girls were in the church van.

All of a sudden, one of the boys in the minivan got a stomach attack! He actually CAME UP off his seat and clasped his hands to his rear end! The pain in his bowels brought a hilarious grimace to his face. "Dude, stop the car!" he pleaded with the driver, who complied quickly.

As they rolled to a stop beside the busy highway, the afflicted boy threw open the side door, jumped out, squatted, and proceeded to relieve his anguish right there by the side of the road!
In the midst of their laughter, the other boys realized that their friend was exposed for all to see, so they hopped out and surrounded their friend to give him some sort of privacy.

To make matters worse, the youth minister noticed the minivan had stopped and pulled over also. He put the church van in reverse and started back toward the group of boys, not knowing what was happening!

The boys, laughing the whole time, waved off the youth minister because they didn't want the girls to get close enough to see their friend in his embarassing situation. The youth minister, confused, stopped the van and walked back to see what was going on.
He returned laughing, and I later got to hear the full story!

I have never heard of someone having that bad of an attack! However, it was really cool of those other boys to have the presence of mind to protect their friend and help maintain modesty in a difficult situation!

Late For School?

Imagine four boys showing up LATE for school one day, looking raggedy, tired, and kind of spooked. This is their excuse...

"We were about 3/4 of a mile from home when it happened, teacher. A BULL was just...standing there in the road! There was NO way around it! He must have jumped the fence because the pasture was right next to the road."

"Yeah," chimes in the second boy, "so we decided to wait! We stood there for several minutes waiting for him to move, but he wouldn't. We started to get scared that we would be late for class, so we started thinking what we could do!"

"Before we could decide," resumes the first boy,"HE (pointing to slightly embarassed boy who is hanging his head) pretended to THROW A ROCK at the bull. And, then...it charged us!
We were scared to death, but managed to all run and jump over the fence into the pasture before he got to us! So, we had to walk through the wet grass and around a pond in order to get to school. THAT is why we are late!"

Do you believe their story?

It really happened! When we lived in Africa, we had to walk to the "elementary school." This bull showed up, and apparently, bulls are attracted to MOVEMENT! (Not necessarily color!) We believe it was mating season also, lending to the testosterone levels of the bull.

Have you ever given an excuse that NOBODY believed? OR...have you ever given a fake excuse?

Giving Good Gifts

We celebrated Fischer's FIRST birthday a couple of days ago! It was crazy, thinking of all the changes we have all gone through in a year. It has been such a blessing to watch him grow.

Birthdays are a lot of fun. I don't know how much Fischer will remember of this particular birthday, but I DO know that he has enjoyed several of his gifts.

If anyone were to ask me, I could tell you what Fischer likes. He likes Elmo, books, things to walk behind, and balls to throw! He has also become quite a little beggar and will quickly make his way toward you if you have food or drink. He especially likes ice-cream (thanks a LOT, Grandpa Sewell! :) Once he reaches you, he turns on the charm with a smile and you've just GOT to give him something for his efforts!

This got me thinking about Matthew 7:11..."11Even though you are bad, you know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more your heavenly Father will give good things to those who ask him!" (New Century Version)

Even though I think I am a pretty good dad (I change diapers, give baths, try to get away from work at regular hours to go home, play with my son, and know him pretty well) I also know that I am far from perfect. I still cannot read all of my son's signals and there are times I do not know what he wants or, more importantly, what he needs.

But God knows exactly what we want AND exactly what we need! He created us, so He knows us inside and out! And, being the loving, good, holy, all-knowing Father that He is, we can expect some GREAT gifts!

God, help us to realize that you know us and love us BETTER than a father loves his children, and that you will give us good things if we only ask. Thank you for loving us so much and taking such good care of us. Help me to be the kind of dad that you are.

Christians As Healers

I used to encourage teenagers to think about being youth ministers, or pulpit ministers or missionaries. Pretty narrow view, huh?

As I grow, I learn that there are SO many ways we can spread the good news about Jesus Christ.

One of those ways, I believe, is to reclaim something Christianity seems to be losing. WE NEED MORE CHRISTIANS TO BE DOCTORS! (And nurses, assistants, etc.) I mean, think about it...what did Jesus do with the majority of His time in ministry? He HEALED people! And for us to be more like Christ, does it not follow that we Christians should be known as healers also?

At the rate our health costs are rising, I am afraid for the USA. I am afraid for my family! But, how awesome would it be if we raised up a generation to care about helping the hurts and needs of the world instead of "keeping up appearances" by earning lots of money?! Christ's people changed the world in the century after He ascended to Heaven...what stopped us?

I realize that some are more gifted at this than others. Myself, I can barely stand cleaning my son's dirty diapers (I'm dreading his first time to throw up after eating only solid food!) What about you?