Last night, teens from Burlington, CO learned that one of their friends was killed when a wall collapsed on him. Please be praying for these young people as they will be going on a roller coaster of emotions, questions, and doubts for the next few days.
Helping people who are hurting is a tricky business. Some process pain differently than others. There are times during the past week when I have longed to be left alone. But there are other times when I don't necessarily want to approach others, but I want them to ask me how I'm doing!
This is a valuable lesson for me, as I have been telling the teenagers what I hear counselors saying: "You NEED to talk about this!"
While I believe that talking can be therapeutic, my expectation that kids are just going to call me up and say, "Franklin, I need to talk" is unrealistic. I myself haven't even been able to tell some people that I would like to talk!
Perhaps the best we can do is ask people how they are doing and give them lots of hugs. But don't stop the process here! After that, stay and talk. Just chitchat. If the emotions return, they'll talk. Being there for each other is a major key.
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Lessons Learned
Sorry for the selfishness of my last post. There is a good update, though! Yes, the infamous Westboro Baptist Church came to picket. They weren't close by. Nobody paid attention to them...not even the media. Ignorance, false holiness, disrespect, stupidity, and misrepresentation of God...these things did NOT win. Grace, mercy, hope, deep respect and love for the family, smiles toward Heaven, hugs, and giving all our concerns and fears to God...these things WON the day!
The family had a visitation on Monday night. There were two rooms, one of which held the open casket for people to pay their respects. I waited tensely for the teenagers to show up, knowing they were anxious about this. I had urged them to at least come and be with the family, but they were so scared of seeing Sam.
Here's the cool part...
When they finally got the courage to see him, some cried (which is good), but one or two of the girls just turned and said, "It doesn't even really look like him" to which an adult replied, "That's because he's not there any more!"
Jesus said in John 6:63 "The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing." Indeed. The Spirit is what gives life to our bodies. Without the eternal part, our bodies have no life...no uniqueness. It's so hard for us to grasp because the body is what we know.
I'm so proud of the teens in my youth group. They've been through a rough time. They have been forced to talk and talk and talk about unpleasant things. They have learned at too early of an age that life is uncertain and fragile. They have been calling and texting to check up on each other!! They've been hugging more.
The family had a visitation on Monday night. There were two rooms, one of which held the open casket for people to pay their respects. I waited tensely for the teenagers to show up, knowing they were anxious about this. I had urged them to at least come and be with the family, but they were so scared of seeing Sam.
Here's the cool part...
When they finally got the courage to see him, some cried (which is good), but one or two of the girls just turned and said, "It doesn't even really look like him" to which an adult replied, "That's because he's not there any more!"
Jesus said in John 6:63 "The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing." Indeed. The Spirit is what gives life to our bodies. Without the eternal part, our bodies have no life...no uniqueness. It's so hard for us to grasp because the body is what we know.
I'm so proud of the teens in my youth group. They've been through a rough time. They have been forced to talk and talk and talk about unpleasant things. They have learned at too early of an age that life is uncertain and fragile. They have been calling and texting to check up on each other!! They've been hugging more.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Open Letter to Omaha Public Schools
Dear Public School System,
I am writing to you because of a crisis we are facing in our society. It is a crisis involving our teenagers, who you are trying to help us mold.
Unfortunately, I think you are creating the problem rather than helping it. Let me explain...
The public school system already complains (and rightly so) that our kids are "too tired" and that they "lack concentration." There seems to be more apathy than ever towards schoolwork and school-related items.
But here's the problem...
You complain that our kids are too tired, but then you make them stay after school for HOURS of extracurricular practice! They lack concentration, so you lengthen their school year. You make them work at camps from 9:00 to 5:00 IN THE SUMMERTIME!
I have teenagers in my church youth group who seem to be able to do NOTHING other than school! Does this produce well-rounded citizens? Why do we think that ALL their time needs to be occupied? Why can we not let them dream anymore? (They don't have time to dream!) What ever happened to lazy summers?
First of all, it is COMPLETELY UNFAIR to take away their summer "vacation." Teens in my church group are going to be BACK at Show Choir Camp just TWO WEEKS after they got out for summer vacation! EVERYONE needs time for rest and renewal, but you don't seem to grasp this concept. Our children are overbooked and overworked. Please, let them have a vacation!
Secondly, this scheduling is detracting from family time...a much-needed (but quickly vanishing) pasttime. Even though many parents are working longer hours and some working through the summers, there are still parents who don't see their kids til 9:00 PM because of schoolwork. Summers are decimated by camp schedules and other things. Families are passing each other by on their way to the next activity.
Third, overscheduling is unfair to other organizations. My youth ministry is trying to affect the same kind of results as you are. I would LOVE to work in conjunction with the schools, but the schools want ALL the time. While YOU are working on increasing the knowledge and athleticism of these kids, I would like to help work on their character, but my time to do so is increasingly taken away. It is very frustrating when schools tell kids (or give them the impression) that their GRADES depend on attendance of all ballgames, shows,etc. Even during the summer! I agree with the old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." I certainly do not wish to do away with schooling, but I wish kids could experience more help from church, work, and non-profit organizations.
Lastly, overscheduling is not necessary. It seems that the schedules have been left up to the competitive minds of the local coaches. While I admire their tenacity, I would also question their motives. Are they trying to teach the kids something, or just put another trophy on their shelf? Many kids are working their tails off for those coaches, but they have NO collegiate or professional careers in sight. While hard work is a desired trait, it can also be a boon. Many families are being ripped apart because of dads who never come home. Could it be that we are overworking kids just like we are overworking their parents?
It used to be that we had the WHOLE summer off. Soon, August became "Back-to-school-camps" month with band, choir, etc. Now, the schools have taken June as well. ONE MONTH for summer vacation is not enough! PLEASE leave them alone until August!! Let them have a solid eight weeks of vacation. Let them rest. Let them dream. Let them be gone long enough to actually "miss" school!
Thank you for your thoughtful consideration.
Sincerely,
Franklin Wood
Omaha, NE
I am writing to you because of a crisis we are facing in our society. It is a crisis involving our teenagers, who you are trying to help us mold.
Unfortunately, I think you are creating the problem rather than helping it. Let me explain...
The public school system already complains (and rightly so) that our kids are "too tired" and that they "lack concentration." There seems to be more apathy than ever towards schoolwork and school-related items.
But here's the problem...
You complain that our kids are too tired, but then you make them stay after school for HOURS of extracurricular practice! They lack concentration, so you lengthen their school year. You make them work at camps from 9:00 to 5:00 IN THE SUMMERTIME!
I have teenagers in my church youth group who seem to be able to do NOTHING other than school! Does this produce well-rounded citizens? Why do we think that ALL their time needs to be occupied? Why can we not let them dream anymore? (They don't have time to dream!) What ever happened to lazy summers?
First of all, it is COMPLETELY UNFAIR to take away their summer "vacation." Teens in my church group are going to be BACK at Show Choir Camp just TWO WEEKS after they got out for summer vacation! EVERYONE needs time for rest and renewal, but you don't seem to grasp this concept. Our children are overbooked and overworked. Please, let them have a vacation!
Secondly, this scheduling is detracting from family time...a much-needed (but quickly vanishing) pasttime. Even though many parents are working longer hours and some working through the summers, there are still parents who don't see their kids til 9:00 PM because of schoolwork. Summers are decimated by camp schedules and other things. Families are passing each other by on their way to the next activity.
Third, overscheduling is unfair to other organizations. My youth ministry is trying to affect the same kind of results as you are. I would LOVE to work in conjunction with the schools, but the schools want ALL the time. While YOU are working on increasing the knowledge and athleticism of these kids, I would like to help work on their character, but my time to do so is increasingly taken away. It is very frustrating when schools tell kids (or give them the impression) that their GRADES depend on attendance of all ballgames, shows,etc. Even during the summer! I agree with the old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." I certainly do not wish to do away with schooling, but I wish kids could experience more help from church, work, and non-profit organizations.
Lastly, overscheduling is not necessary. It seems that the schedules have been left up to the competitive minds of the local coaches. While I admire their tenacity, I would also question their motives. Are they trying to teach the kids something, or just put another trophy on their shelf? Many kids are working their tails off for those coaches, but they have NO collegiate or professional careers in sight. While hard work is a desired trait, it can also be a boon. Many families are being ripped apart because of dads who never come home. Could it be that we are overworking kids just like we are overworking their parents?
It used to be that we had the WHOLE summer off. Soon, August became "Back-to-school-camps" month with band, choir, etc. Now, the schools have taken June as well. ONE MONTH for summer vacation is not enough! PLEASE leave them alone until August!! Let them have a solid eight weeks of vacation. Let them rest. Let them dream. Let them be gone long enough to actually "miss" school!
Thank you for your thoughtful consideration.
Sincerely,
Franklin Wood
Omaha, NE
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