Finish this sentence:
I want my kid(s) to be the best ___________.
How did you fill in the blank?
Pianist? Quarterback? Chess player? Pitcher? Debater? Cheerleader? Student?
I see it all too often: Parents who live out their lives through their children. They want their kids to be cool, popular, "the best." They push their kids to practice hard at their chosen activity. They make sure they are at every practice early, and stay late. They sponsor all the activities, and shell out hundreds (maybe thousands) of dollars to get their kids the BEST equipment.
We all want our children to be happy. We all want them to work hard. But I would encourage you to consider filling in the blank with something different...something that matters far more than any ballgame or competition.
I want my kid to be the best Christian that he can be.
I want to make sure he's at all the "practice sessions" he needs to get to know God. I want to make sure he has quality equipment for studying about his creator. I want to monetarily sponsor things that get him in touch with God's love and grace!
Can you say those words? Do your kids know that their soul is more important to you than their extracurriculars?
One of the parents at our church was talking to her son recently. He is the mascot for one of our local high schools. It's a horse named "Mighty." He was telling me that he didn't know if he could attend our youth rally (and help lead worship) because he might be mascotting. His mom replied with a smile, "I would rather you be doing mighty things than Mighty (the horse) things!"
Amen.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Passing Down Your Faith Part 2
The argument between child and parent rages on: "I don't wanna go...!"
There was something in my last post that I forgot to mention as an important ingredient of passing on your faith to your kids:
DOING MINISTRY AT YOUR CHURCH.
Here's what I mean...
You can go to worship services every week faithfully, but are you the first ones out the door? Does your "worship" end there? Have YOU (as parents) tried to make connections at church?
Not only that, but are you SERVING somewhere? Have you taken an ACTIVE ROLE within the church?
When parents become passionate about something, it increases the chances of their kids becoming passionate about it, too. And one of the signs of passion (not just in church) is when people are proactive and purposeful about their passion. They don't take a "sit-back-and-see-what-happens" attitude. They YEARN for ways to help out!
I'm not talking about being obnoxious, or always being in front of people. I have some parents in my youth ministry who I can DEPEND ON to be there and do things as simple as set up chairs and tables, or make coffee and tea for our fundraiser lunches. By their quiet (but dependable) service, they are shouting to their kids, "THIS IS IMPORTANT!"
I LOVE IT when teens aren't in the High School class because they are helping their mom teach the 3 year olds! I LOVE IT when parents pull their kids out of worship so they can do puppets for Junior Church! They are working TOGETHER and they are sharing their passion with their kids.
If you want to increase the chances of your kids staying faithful, get involved in a ministry at your church! Tell your kids about your passion. Let them see it at work as you serve, even if it's behind the scenes! And allow your kids to test the ministry waters as well, to see where they might serve and get passionate about putting their faith to work.
There was something in my last post that I forgot to mention as an important ingredient of passing on your faith to your kids:
DOING MINISTRY AT YOUR CHURCH.
Here's what I mean...
You can go to worship services every week faithfully, but are you the first ones out the door? Does your "worship" end there? Have YOU (as parents) tried to make connections at church?
Not only that, but are you SERVING somewhere? Have you taken an ACTIVE ROLE within the church?
When parents become passionate about something, it increases the chances of their kids becoming passionate about it, too. And one of the signs of passion (not just in church) is when people are proactive and purposeful about their passion. They don't take a "sit-back-and-see-what-happens" attitude. They YEARN for ways to help out!
I'm not talking about being obnoxious, or always being in front of people. I have some parents in my youth ministry who I can DEPEND ON to be there and do things as simple as set up chairs and tables, or make coffee and tea for our fundraiser lunches. By their quiet (but dependable) service, they are shouting to their kids, "THIS IS IMPORTANT!"
I LOVE IT when teens aren't in the High School class because they are helping their mom teach the 3 year olds! I LOVE IT when parents pull their kids out of worship so they can do puppets for Junior Church! They are working TOGETHER and they are sharing their passion with their kids.
If you want to increase the chances of your kids staying faithful, get involved in a ministry at your church! Tell your kids about your passion. Let them see it at work as you serve, even if it's behind the scenes! And allow your kids to test the ministry waters as well, to see where they might serve and get passionate about putting their faith to work.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Parenting Trend
I am disturbed by a trend among parents to "let their children figure things out for themselves." This parenting style is seen when kids are given a lot of freedom, allowed to break rules with little to no consequences, and have no consistency.
While I agree there are some things that children must figure out for themselves, something in my heart breaks when parents take this approach in regards to their kid's faith.
There are some fundamental flaws that lead to this approach:
1. "My child doesn't really care what I believe." Studies have shown again and again that PARENTS are the NUMBER ONE spiritual influence on their kids. So guess what? If parents have a negative attitude or an apathetic one towards faith and church, the kids will probably inherit it. Even if the child doesn't follow their parents' faith, they will at least respect it.
2. "My child complains when we talk about going to church." Yes, and don't they also complain about going to school, family reunions, or back-to-school shopping? Since when does "I don't want to" register as a legitimate reason NOT to do something? You wouldn't pull your kid out of school for that excuse, would you? If parents cave in to this reasoning, they are teaching their children that church is a consumer product instead of a FAMILY of diverse people (meaning they don't always look or act like me!) who are desperately dependent on GOD!
3. "My child has no friends at church." I hear this one quite often. Most of the time this is uttered by people who are not good friends themselves. They want everyone to care all about them and don't want to take time to extend friendship care to anyone else. I'm not saying that church folks are always the best friends, because sometimes they are not! But church is not supposed to be the place where your best friends are (meaning, people with exaclty your same interests!) but the place where your FAMILY is (meaning, the people you would die for, even thought they are bizarre!) Besides, if church is about being with friends, you can do that in a gang, at a bar, by joining a cult, etc. What I'm saying is that it's also about defining truth.
Where in the Bible does it say "let thine children find their own way in life?"
What I find are sayings like these:
"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates..."
(Deuteronomy 11:18-20)
"Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD." (Psalm 34:11)
"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." (Joshua 24:14-15)
Please don't misunderstand me. I know that you cannot force children to accept faith. At some point, faith must be owned by the child.
But, if there's anything worth standing up for, if there's anything worth fighting over, if there's anything worth being passionate about...I would say it is worth it if it has to do with your child's soul, and leading them into a loving relationship with Jesus Christ!!
While I agree there are some things that children must figure out for themselves, something in my heart breaks when parents take this approach in regards to their kid's faith.
There are some fundamental flaws that lead to this approach:
1. "My child doesn't really care what I believe." Studies have shown again and again that PARENTS are the NUMBER ONE spiritual influence on their kids. So guess what? If parents have a negative attitude or an apathetic one towards faith and church, the kids will probably inherit it. Even if the child doesn't follow their parents' faith, they will at least respect it.
2. "My child complains when we talk about going to church." Yes, and don't they also complain about going to school, family reunions, or back-to-school shopping? Since when does "I don't want to" register as a legitimate reason NOT to do something? You wouldn't pull your kid out of school for that excuse, would you? If parents cave in to this reasoning, they are teaching their children that church is a consumer product instead of a FAMILY of diverse people (meaning they don't always look or act like me!) who are desperately dependent on GOD!
3. "My child has no friends at church." I hear this one quite often. Most of the time this is uttered by people who are not good friends themselves. They want everyone to care all about them and don't want to take time to extend friendship care to anyone else. I'm not saying that church folks are always the best friends, because sometimes they are not! But church is not supposed to be the place where your best friends are (meaning, people with exaclty your same interests!) but the place where your FAMILY is (meaning, the people you would die for, even thought they are bizarre!) Besides, if church is about being with friends, you can do that in a gang, at a bar, by joining a cult, etc. What I'm saying is that it's also about defining truth.
Where in the Bible does it say "let thine children find their own way in life?"
What I find are sayings like these:
"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates..."
(Deuteronomy 11:18-20)
"Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD." (Psalm 34:11)
"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." (Joshua 24:14-15)
Please don't misunderstand me. I know that you cannot force children to accept faith. At some point, faith must be owned by the child.
But, if there's anything worth standing up for, if there's anything worth fighting over, if there's anything worth being passionate about...I would say it is worth it if it has to do with your child's soul, and leading them into a loving relationship with Jesus Christ!!
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