What if...?

"What if...?"
If there can be such a thing, this is the best/worst question in the English language.
"What if...?" can be asked to dream of possibilities. It can be used for the greater good.
"What if...?" can also be an annoying question, if you are not ready for change.
"What if...?" is not my favorite question tonight.
Sigh.
Apparently our little Garrison's breathing problems are still a concern. A sleep study the other night revealed that his breathing is shallow, and that he may have a problem where his larynx is soft, meaning a greater possibility of obstructing his airway.
The good news is that they didn't find any obstruction. Also, he never stopped breathing during sleep (apnea.)
However, we get to be scared once again as the doctor says, "Most kids just grow out of it, but there are no guarantees."
And now we come back to our question: "What if...?"
Now it's a frightening question...a question that brings fear and tears.
So we'll watch and wait, and hope that the answer to "What if...?" is positive, and that in the end, it will be a fantastic God-story!

The Latest...

I have debated all day whether to take pictures of Garrison in the NICU. Are those scenes we want to remember?
After much thought and tearful prayers, I decided to take and share a few pics. The reason...because I want to be able to look BACK and see the wonderful things that God did when he brought about healing. And I believe we're getting there.
I can't thank you enough for your prayers. Hopefully you can see from the above paragraph that we can feel your prayers and derive our strength from them. We BEG you to keep them coming!

UPDATE: Earlier tonight, the nurse lifted our hearts by telling us Garrison's levels are looking very good. His blood-gas levels are right where they need to be. His inflammation levels are down, and his white cell count is down to 15 (ideally it should be between 14 and 18) from 35. He is currently on 30% oxygen, down from 39% earlier tonight. And he is sleeping BIG TIME (he really needed his rest.) The nurse also turned his ventilator down from 14 to 11 (I know, I don't know what that means either, but it sounds great!) Between the doctors, nurses and a loving God, we know our little Garrison is in good hands.

Baby Garrison Update

Why do all my kids have to look like this their first few days of life?
Garrison had to be taken to the NICU because of labored breathing, low oxygen levels, and high white cell count. Several x-rays have come back looking clear, so they're not sure why he's laboring as though he needs to get something out of his lungs. They may have to insert a breathing tube so that they can put medicine directly into his lungs which will open up his air sacs and increase his O2 levels. We're hoping it won't come to that.
So this is a repeat performance for me. Fischer was in NICU for a couple of days as well. I hated every second. I'm one of the most squeamish people you know.
I cringed as they tried to insert an IV into both Garrison's arms, and it didn't work, so they went to work on his foot. I must have looked awful, because another nurse came over and said, "Would you like to go back upstairs and check on your wife now?" I gratefully accepted her suggestion.
I HATE hearing my kids cry. Oh, don't get me wrong...if they do something to deserve it, I'm fine. But not when it's like this!! It just tears at your heart and makes you want to scream out (like Elliot in the movie "E.T.") "Leave 'im alone!"
Tracy continues to do OK. Much better than last C-section!
Prayers for helpless daddy, recovering mommy, and struggling baby are appreciated.

Our New Miracle

Here is our newest little guy: Garrison Steven Samuel Wood
8 lbs 15 oz
21 inches long
He is a mighty man, already lifting his head!!

Another Miracle

In just under ten hours, another miracle will take place in my life.
Most miracles seem to happen in hindsight, so it's exciting that I get to wait in anxious expectation for one!
Our second son, Garrison, will be brought into the world (Lord willing) at around 7:30 tomorrow morning by C-section. God started this little life and shaped it with His own hand. He watched as the little life began to grow inside of it's mother, and laughed with her as she felt the child kick for the first time.
God will be there in the morning. I know this because, where there is life, there is God.
God will be keenly interested in Garrison's life. His early years, discovering God's creation; his teen years, filled with anxiety and self-awareness; his adult years, possibly starting a family and career; his failures and his successes...God will watch it all.
And tomorrow morning, I really think God will be smiling with us as we welcome new life into our family.